I Had A Plan But Changed It At The Last Minute And Now I Have No Idea What I'm Doing by Fall Out Boy

[Artemis]

Ten Unicorns stand in a field. You should talk to them, because there's not a lot else in the field right now, so what else are you gonna do when you see a bunch of rainbow-coloured space-unicorns in a field? That's what I thought. They're just, like, chilling with each other trying to figure out what they're doing there also, so say hi, or don't, whatever you do when faced with this situation.


--


Little White Lie Garra

Marlene, female Italic #f3d8a8

The Little White Lie doesn't mean any harm, really. Okay, that sounds sarcastic, but she genuinely doesn't; she may not always be perfectly sincere or honest, and can bury the truth beneath twenty other little things without acknowledging it, but she's doing it spare you from being hurt! Maybe she thinks your favourite Christmas sweater is the ugliest thing she's ever seen, not even in a fun ugly sweater party way, but you love it so she tells you it's beautiful and charming! Because if she tells the truth you might feel bad, and she will do anything in her power to prevent you from feeling bad. Her? Her feelings? Her opinions? That's... don't worry about that! This is about you, not her.

Suiting her title, she's a little thing, easily the littlest one there, though not dwarfish by any means and clearly mature, probably more-so than she lets her appearances lead on. Her eyes are a rich indigo-blue, often half-covered by long lashes. Her horn is cotton-white, with a thick shaft. In fact her whole body is plain white, unmarred by any colours. A wispy mane and tail show no deviation from this, and it comes as a surprise when you look down and get to her hooves, which seem carved from the bluest sapphires. 

Great White Whale Garra

Ishmael, male Bold #b48bc7

Bro... Brother... Bruh listen. Listen! He's got the most amazing story to tell you! You won't believe it but he swear it's absolutely true and totally really happened to a friend of a cousin of his mom's barber! Are... are there unicorn barbers? Anyway that's not the point don't worry about that he swears on his own grave that this fantastical crazy thing happened, even if you were THERE bro (and you know it, well, didn't). Like, can you think of a better way to fill what you're missing in your life than by just, I mean, just make it up! Then it isn't missing any more! It's genius, right? He's a super genius, he knows, you don't have to tell him.

Ishmael is a thicc boi, as the hip kids say. Built more like a bull than a horse, his horn looks almost comically under-sized on his broad head, a long thin thing of a glistening aged-white hue. Most of his bulk is a similar ivory colour, striped around the hooves and flanks by partial tiger-y markings of majestic purpley shades fading in and out. His eyes are a dark wet brown. 

Red Letter Day Xicara

Kamalah, female Bold #f52e35

Hello! Good morning! It's a wonderful Monday! This ball of sunshine will be the bane of your existence if you've ever had a negative thought in your life. Xicaras embody passion, and Kamalah has a passionate optimism about everything. E v e r y t h i n g. It's not worth getting upset over the little things, you know? And if it's upsetting, it's automatically a little thing! After all, why would you be unhappy when you could chose to enjoy the fascinating evolution of life that lead to your kitchen being over-run by rat-sized roaches with too many antennae? You could be angry your flour is ruined, or you could be delighted at being part of the circle of life. And delight is way better feeling than despair.

Kamalah looks surprisingly soft, painted in zebra-style stripes of warm peach and light cream, with a tangerine mane and tail sporting sun-kissed orange streaks. The gentleness continues in her build, on the small and lean side, although her quick sprightly movements do seem quite fitting. Her eyes are shimmery silver, and her horn is what might best be described as blood-orange given the rest of her design. It's definitely red, but in the right light one could easily see an orange tone inside the translucent prominence. 

Red Carpet Treatment Xicara

Briec, male Italic #aa0817

The Red Carpet Treatment is so named because he will accept nothing less. The love of his life is himself, because he's wonderful, hello, obviously. To his credit, he does try to uphold the status he has in his head by being almost self-destructively generous and ready to lend a hoof or horn, so there are worse delusions of grandeur to attempt to make reality. You agree, right? That he's worth all that and a bag of beans? Right. Not that he doubts himself, because he's him, you know. Who doesn't like being complimented and treated like royalty, and definitely not because he's got mounds of self-doubt hidden behind his need to fret over having every hair of his beard in place so he looks the part of the amazing hero he is.

Briec is a handsome chestnut bay, broken up by a white stocking, ankle, pastern, or coronet on each hoof, as well as a white bald face reaching up over his true-gold eyes. His mane and tail are a dark, almost black at the base, that blends into streaks of maroon. He's built middling-size, neither a heavyset workhorse nor a streamlined racer. His horns is a matching gleaming maroon, never showing a speck of dirt or hint of dullness to its polish. 

Blue In The Face Espada

Paula, female Italic #9eb8f0

You... are wrong. Not inherently, but if you are wrong about something, she has to let you know It's a horrific compulsion. Something is WRONG and she needs to make sure it is RIGHT. Even the little things; things nobody cares about the exact specifications of? She cares. She'll WELL ACTUALLY you to death and there's not a lot you can do about it, because you may not care but she cares and you should care because. It's. Wrong. And. Things. Need. To. Be. Right. It's a bit eccentric, sure, and probably more than little annoying. On the other hand, she's, y'know, not wrong about anything she says. Where she learns all this trivia is a mystery, but she sure knows a lot of useless facts about a lot of useless things. And occasionally some useful ones, we guess.

Paula is an interesting looking Unicorn. Her horn is a powdery periwinkle blue, looking chalky despite feeling smooth. Her body is short and solid, and appears solid jet black, as are her mane and tail, creating a stark contrast with the rapier-like point. We say 'appears' however because it isn't, if you catch her in the right light, usually at dusk or dawn, dotted specks of reflective silver-white and whorls of galaxies appear in the patterns of her hair. 

Blue Screen of Death Espada

Abdul, male Bold #001eff

Espadas run on logic, and Abdul doubly so. If something doesn't compute, he tends to simply blank out while his brain resets trying to make sense of it -- which can make life on Whazzit a little rough at times. Fortunately, he's quite intelligent, and can form his own patterns of what makes 'logical sense' when there isn't it any, and will adapt as best he can to new laws of the universe, like Thursdays always come before Friday but not always after Wednesday. It's weird, and illogical, but it's an established pattern he can follow. He takes a little longer to process new information than some of his kin, but he will pick up just about anything if you give him time to digest it. Mentally. Not actually digestively. Do not feed your Espada an encyclopedia. It's a waste of a good encyclopedia.

His horn starts at a deep navy blue base and lightens slightly towards the point into a vibrant almost crayola-esque blue. Lank of limb and thick of body, he's not the most statuesque Unicorn out there, but he is certainly eye-catching in his own way, with his giraffeish pattern of pale-orange polygonal spots spaced out by white bordering lines. His eyes are a light amber, matching the honeyed flair of his mane and tail. 

Green-Eyed Monster Moeda

Tahani, female Bold #378f4e

Tahani's life is wonderful darling thank you for asking! You went to the beach last weekend? Oh, she. Also wants. To go to the beach. That sounds fun bonded why don't we go to the beach. Did she already go to the beach this month? Of course she did, she's got a socialite's dream life, she's always at all the cool places, she's just, you know, been reminded by you going to the beach how much she loves going and she should go. Again. Back. Because she did it first but you know she doesn't want you to feel left out bonded so she'll go to keep you company, alright? Hmm? She's beautiful (not that you're ugly, sweetie) and popular (not that you don't have friends too, she's sure!) and everything is going perfectly! Oh look how happy that giant is with a kitten, we should get a kitten --

A warm yellow colour spreads as the base of her coat pattern, giving way to black leopard spots on her hind end. Obsidian hooves and matching mane and tail complete the wildcat look, and there are worse patterns that could go with the jungle-green horn that thrusts from her head, the... bone? gem? what are these things made of anyway? ... made with a subtle wave along its form. She's tall and well-proportioned, and moves with confidence and deliberateness. Her eyes are a few shades lighter than her horn. 

Green About The Gills Moeda

Jenkins, male Italic #83b713

Y'all right there? Are ya winning yer video games, son? Jenkins doesn't always know what's going on, but he's trying his best bless his heart. He's already had a long life of his own and now he's dedicated himself to seeing the younger generation have a good life, misguided those his efforts sometimes are. That includes being a touch of a, well, we hesitate to say hypochondriac, but he is certainly something of a worrier. Sweating from a jog on a summer afternoon? Sure it's not a fever? Here he's just got the thing for that, strong drink of this will fix ya right up. What's in it? Oh, just an old wives' mix, you know, some elderberries, some nightshades, a bit of cyanide to sweeten it. Hey, hey you're looking pale, kid, should he get you something for that too? Hold on a tick, what'd he do with that ancient talisman.

Jenkins is a bit on the bony side, although he doesn't seem to be in poor health at all -- in fact maybe there's something to his old wives' tales type magics, since he seems to be in the best health of his life imaginable. His horn is a soft, muted green; his body, softly blended like reflections of light on a cup of green tea; his mane and tail, a dark moss streaked with mint (and appropriately he often smells like different herbs and spices, although not necessarily mint). He's very green all over, in other words, other than his crinkly brown-black eyes and his silvery hooves. 

Yellow-Bellied Cur Varinha

Jin, female Italic #e7e113

We're just going to cut to the chase. The Yellow-Bellied Cur is the type who wishes she could do all sorts of exciting things and come up with neat ideas, and is absolutely terrified of actually experiencing them or putting herself out there and being told her ideas are dumb after all. What if it goes wrong?! She can't handle it if it goes wrong. Oh, things outside of her going wrong, that's fine, no problem, she'll not ruffle a single feather about it. Something she had anything to do with, though, falls apart, and she'll have a right breakdown over it. Doesn't matter how far removed she is from what went wrong, all she has to do is even think about attending the harpsichord concert next week and if the harpsichordist gets sick? BOOM. Her fault. Sweet as a button, she is, if she can get past herself.

Jin's horn is soft, pale morning sunlight, a comforting colour against her soft velvet hide, appaloosa-spotted with pale grey on faintly darker grey skin. A single stripe of ebony draws down her spine and bleeds into her tail, while her mane is a snowy white. Her eyes are... hazel? Grey? Light brown? Wait, are they gold? It seems to shift, although not because of any identifiable mood or the like. Magic is weird. 

Yellow Brick Road Varinha

Julio, male Bold #ffed00

Julio is the complete opposite of Jin, brimming with ideas and ready to throw himself headlong at them no matter how insane, inane, or just plain silly. Where she has too much caution, he seems to have been born with none at all, because pffft what's the worst that could happen? Probably a lot of things, to be honest, not that he cares because he's already halfway through his next grand plan before you can open your mouth to tell him that physics don't work like that and no you can't bend light that way -- oh. Oh you did it. Julio oh no how did you do that what have you done that's an amazing discovery yes now please put down the van de graaff generator before you hurt yourself.

Truly a stunning sight, Julio has a bright golden coat, and we're not being flowery about that. He's literally golden, each hair polished to a brilliant metallic sheen. His mane and tail are a complementary penny-bright copper. Tall and built for speed, his body moves as fast to put his ideas into play as his mind does coming up with those ideas in the first place. His horn is a glittery-looking gold, while his eyes are a striking cobalt blue. 

---

Garra Female Marlene -- Haelys
Garra Male Ishmael -- Leonard
Xicara Female Kamalah -- Zebey
Xicara Male Briec -- Tynis
Espada Female Paula -- Leonard
Espada Male Abdul -- WILD
Moeda Female Tahani -- Alice
Moeda Male Jenkins -- Muriel
Varinha Female Jin -- Junho
Varinha Male Julio -- Nako


Tynis, Zebey, Alice, Junho, Haelys, Muriel, Nako, Leonard


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Post as much as you want, official ~rounds~ if I have any instead of simply replying to conversation/actions when I get a chance, will happen on weekends. Gonna try for Saturdays, I guess? It's mega-relaxed if you can't tell lol

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[Tynis]

Tynis huffed and shrugged his pack higher onto his shoulders. He was seriously regretting too many lazy nights spent by the fire. Maybe he'd take up something a little more athletic. There was that new game the younger crowd was playing with the sticks and a ball of twine... But that might require actual physical contact with people. He shuddered.

Did anyone know just how hot it could get under silk? Who thought tramping around the country in silk was a good idea? Where was this farm anyway? Some of the more isolated families lived farther out but this was getting a little ridiculous. Something about the flora, as sparse as it was right now, seemed different too. He checked the compass in his hand and scooped his headdress off. The slight breeze against his damp forehead was very welcome. He hoped he wouldn't have to leave in the dark. Finding his way back with just starlight might prove a challenge.

Up ahead equine figures appeared. Ah, perhaps he had finally reached the correct destination. Or at least a ranch of some sort he could acquire directions from. As he approached, something again tugged at the back of his mind. A little voice that told him this just wasn't quite right. They did not scatter upon approach so they must not be wild. There wasn't a fence in site, though, and he certainly could not remember crossing one anywhere. These creatures were clearly not your run of the mill horse anyway. He gawped dumbly at the animals before him uttering the only phrase that could come to mind.

"Where in Duuara's name am I?"

[Zebey]

Zebey was confused. This was not a state she was used to being in, and she did not like it. Two nights ago she had taken up refuge at the Green Dragon Inn, a reputable place she had slept in at least a thousand times. Except this time she woke up in what she swore was the middle of nowhere, in the center of a never-ending expanse of wilderness. In the past two days, she had not come across a single person. She never thought that this would be a problem except she had no way of finding out where she was, how to get shelter, or how to get supplies. She couldn't even get a horse from a stable! This was absurd. How could she randomly wake up in a place uninhabited by anyone else?

She was in a field now. It was large and empty. She didn't really like it- she felt too exposed- but she walked on tiredly in search for any sign of life. She needed to find out where she was. As the Drow narrowed her eyes and scanned the landscape, a group of horses suddenly appeared. Or maybe they had been there before and she just hadn't seen them. Whatever the case, they were a welcome sight from the absence of ANYTHING. And then, a person! Thank Calistria, the elf thought to herself. She started walking towards them. Maybe I can finally figure out where this place is, and where the closest inn is....

As Zebey got closer, however, she realized that this place was just going to keep confusing her. The horses were actually... Unicorns? She very clearly noticed their horns, of varying colors, on their foreheads. They were also colored very differently than normal horses should be able to. Were they dyed by magic? And the person that she saw- he was very strange, he seemed mostly human but he had maroon skin and golden hair that was shaved into a mohawk. Was this a sub-race of human she had never seen? That could be entirely possible, she mused. She approached cautiously, bow drawn with an arrow in place but not drawn back. "Hey," she called, keeping a safe distance at fifteen feet back, "do you know where we are?" It had suddenly struck her that if she had randomly been transported here, he might have been as well. That wasn't a comforting thought. She also eyed the Unicorns, unsure if they would attack at a moment's notice or if they were tame.

[Alice Noe]

The thing about Alice's job is that while it was generally quiet, it could also be very messy. As she looked over the blood-stained man approaching the counter she knew that this was going to be one of those messy transactions. At least she didn't have to ask why they were covered in blood or where they had gotten the money from. It was just her job to send it wherever it needed to go. And to clean it up in the meantime. She gave him a polite but distant smile as he set the bloody briefcase on the counter.

"Good evening sir, and where will this be going?" She asked, laying the briefcase down on the counter and popping the tab that was holding it closed. While the outside was mostly dry the same could definitely not be said for the inside. It was sticky. Silence from the man made her look up, and while he hadn't moved there was an ID on the counter. She scanned it and was at least pleased to find that he already had an account and she wasn't going to have to interrogate this guy to figure out what was going on. From the sour expression on his face that wouldn't have been a pleasant experience for either of them. Picking up a pen she shuffled through the money a little bit, doing some quick calculations in her head. "There will be a laundering fee, of course. Roughly five percent of what you have here." She glanced up enough to catch a curt nod, and with a few keystrokes she had printed out a receipt for him. "The funds will be available immediately, have a nice night." Alice hadn't even finished speaking before he was taking his ID and receipt and walking away. She didn't bother to call after him.

Instead she latched the briefcase and made her way back to the vault, she'd put this away and deal with laundering it towards the end of her shift. Pricking a finger on the vault door it swung open and she descended the stairs. At least until she realised there was a light down there. That wasn't right, the vault generally wasn't lit. Proceeding with caution she tightened her grip on the briefcase, prepared to weaponise it if need by. She was working on her own tonight, it was almost dawn and Stacie had taken off early.

Reaching the bottom of the stairs Alice squinted into the light, stepping into the crunch of gravel as she moved towards the light. Something was wrong here and she couldn't place what it-

Gravel?

She looked down, instead of the Coven's fancy marble tiling she was walking on dirt and gravel. Turning back she realised that she couldn't see the stairs. They shouldn't have been more than five feet away, but it was just blackness yawning behind her. She couldn't remember the last time she was in darkness deep enough that she couldn't see. Cautiously she moved forward, something was definitely up but it wasn't like she had a lot of other choices. A few more steps and she realised she was heading towards the mouth of a cave, cautiously she reached a hand out towards the light, ready to jerk back quickly if needed. It didn't burn, however. The only place the sun didn't burn her was the faewild. But why would she be in the faewild? The Coven was secure, no magic happened the Jack didn't know about.

Squinting into the sun as her eyes adjusted she was able to focus on a figure in the distance, moving quickly. Elvish. Definitely the faewild. Holding tight to the briefcase she made her way in that direction. Though the elf had passed from her sight she was able to catch up quickly enough by the smell, surprisingly graceful as she crossed the uneven terrain in heels and a black pencil skirt.

"Excuse me," She called out as she got closer, two fae stood beside a cluster of unicorns, "What is going on here?"

[Junho Song]

It had been days already, and Junho still hadn’t gotten used to this strange planet.

Well, okay. Three days. He couldn’t exactly be blamed for still feeling like a dog trapped under an enormous blanket, but at least the oddities that he continued to encounter didn’t totally feel like oddities anymore. It seemed that the abnormal was actually quite normal, wherever he was. After some spirit (forces they might have called them?) or other had dropped him here he had at least apparently run into all of the right people. He’d never been a go out into nature and explore in the wilderness kind of guy, but when he got here he had nothing but his wallet with a useless currency, his keys which did not open anything here, and a cellphone that somehow seemed to work, but had no service (and was dead now anyway). Even with his useless currency, he managed to run into a reptilian-looking woman who had given him a tent, for free, and suddenly, he was forced to become a go out into nature and explore the wilderness kind of guy. Another elder man with neon colored skin that shifted in shade every time he shifted between his legs gave him some food and water, explained some of the edible plantlife and advice, and traded it all for a gift card Junho had that only had two dollars and thirteen cents left in it. For a local restaurant in town. He insisted, even if Junho wasn’t really sure that the elderly man knew what it even was.

And now he was here, with the bits of leftover food and water that he had, the tent that he could now put up in record (for him) time (still a pretty long time), and a newly developed and developing ability to not be that shocked by the new things he encountered. And he didn’t know if it was bad that he kind of considered all of that a win. He was sure his mother would have been absolutely shocked to know that he had even survived this long on his own, without WiFi.

At least the earth beneath his feet felt similar to the earth that he felt at home. Familiar.

Now he was here, not sure how he had managed to walk through a vast, empty plain without noticing a darn thing or even remembering what he was doing or where he was going, approaching a group of humanoids and not humanoid-horses. Unicorns, actually, he corrected himself noticing their horns, though definitely not remotely humanoid (he’d seen some humanoid-horses since he got here, to this planet). He hadn’t spoken to a soul in the past couple of days, and on first glance, he wondered if he was intruding on some kind of party that he was definitely not invited to. But even from a bit of a distance, he could detect questions in their voices and if he was teleported here out of the blue, in a world full of different species and peoples and not peoples, maybe that abnormal occurence was actually quite, well, normal.

With the tent looped around his shoulders like a backpack, and his waterskin and bags of food gently patting against his side as he moved, he approached the group. He wanted to offer some sort of greeting, but he kind of just smiled dumbly instead. He didn’t really want to interrupt any conversations. And honestly even when he had been alone for a couple of days and had been lost in its thoughts, and his own too, what he really wanted to ask these people more than anything was where he could take a hot shower.

[Haelys Celtaris]

Whazzit seemed to be particularly ripe today for receiving newcomers from all walks of life. Of course, this particular newcomer wasn’t exactly walking through life at the moment. In fact, she more like...fell through a portal. No, wait. Not fell—she was thrown. It was the kind of harsh impact that could only come from someone with feelings of hatred and thoughts of overthrow.

It was actually rather remarkable how quickly Haelys got back on her feet, although there was no one around to appreciate such a bounce back.

"I will have your heads! USURPERS!" The strength of her screams rattled the fields around her. The band of oversized promenading ladybugs carrying welcome bouquets immediately turned around and marched the other direction. Red alert: crazy lady in the Northern Veldt with murder on the mind.

Haelys brushed the grass and dirt off her white dress, pushing the long silver strands of hair behind her shoulders as she recollected herself. Where had they teleported her? How were they capable of such advanced magic? Surely they couldn’t have put her too far away. There had to be a nearby village. She would demand that somebody with a carriage take her back to the capital immediately. Her guards were likely in the process of capturing the traitors. She would have plenty of time to deal with them later.

After about two hours of walking, her feet were sore and there was an unpleasant layer of sweat across her. She couldn’t remember the last time she had walked for this long. The adrenaline and rage had kept her going at first, but they had since worn off. A hot bath and a massage would serve her well tonight.

Haelys emerged from a clump of trees to see the gathering before her. She approached with no hesitation, her long wavy hair trailing behind her and her crown still sitting perfectly upon her head. Blue-gray eyes assessed the situation quickly. There were four people. The first looked...incredibly sunburnt, or perhaps even the victim of a housefire? How were they not screaming in agony? Old wounds, perhaps? The second’s bluish tone was...sickly. Were they diseased? Or was this the start of an undead army? The other two individuals looked much more normal, although their clothing still struck her as odd.

And then there were the colorful horses. Some creative sadist had driven sharp spikes through their heads. And yet they were still standing? Where was the blood?

On second thought, it’s possible that she had a head injury from the fall. That would explain all the strange colors she was seeing. Either way, it did not alter her goal. Ignoring the mutilated horses, Haelys planted her stance firmly in place and addressed the people in the field:

"I am your Queen Haelys Celtaris. The individual with the nearest carriage will safely deliver me to the capital. I will ensure that my Master of Coin compensates your loyalty."

[Artemis]

Suddenly, a guy appeared! Actually, not all that suddenly, but compared to the whole lot of nothing it was sudden enough. He was red-skinned, and a red-horned female Unicorn gawped back at him. But like, in a good way.

You're with us! Isn't it exciting? Who are you tell me all about yourself!

Someone else asked where they are and a blue-horned Unicorn snorted scoffily. We're here. On a planet. I think a Planet, even. Paula had spoken. It was Planet now, we guess, if it hadn't been before. It just was.

Someone else else asked what was going on and a weary sigh escaped a red-horned male Unicorn, but before he could say something about it his companion butted in. We're standing in a field, OBVIOUSLY. And it's boring, OBVIOUSLY. What've you got there? he asked, immediately stepping forward and stretching out his neck to investigate her suitcase, snuffling like a dog near a bag of treats.

There was another fellow walking in their direction, and one of the shier Unicorns, sporting a yellow horn, subconsciously stepped closer to him, greatly preferring the quiet instead of the game of 20 questions everyone else was playing. She swivelled an ear and bobbed her head lightly in acknowledgement, but had nothing to say quite yet.

All the calm was interrupted by the royal storm when the next arrival started screaming about USURPERS.

A white-horned male gasped, overly dramatic but somehow sincere. A queen! I was a queen once you know-- He was cut off with a unbecoming grunt after a light kick in the chest by the sighing Unicorn from before. Pardon me, he said unsympathetically before addressing said queen, Did you say you wish to compensate us? Not that I need it, of course, but if you're offering, pray tell what kind of compensation are we considering, hmm?

[Tynis]

It was hard to say if Zebey made any sound on her approach. Tynis was very much too preoccupied with his current predicament to notice a thing until she spoke. He jumped with remarkable vigor at the sound of her voice only managing to barely stifle a rather unbecoming scream. His amber eyes scanned over her in further puzzlement. He’d been to cities and gatherings with races of varying skin tones but hers was not one he had encountered. Her question really did nothing to improve his demeanor. “Er. Well, I‌ had intended to reach the outskirts of Qaiksall but it seems I may have wandered a little bit farther…” He trailed off, eyes darting from her to her half-ready bow. A mild panic set in. How far had he wandered off course? And why didn’t this other person know where they were either?

There was no time to ponder, however, as another approached. He wasn’t one to judge dress normally, but those shoes seemed rather impractical for what they were all doing. He wasn’t really sure what that was, but those certainly weren’t the right shoes. Again, there was a question. The wheels in his mind churned in a very hopeless manner. What were the chances of meeting two others in the middle of nowhere in a field of weird horses with none of them seeming to know anything about what was happening? His poor brain determined that this situation was, at the very least, highly improbable. At the height of processing, though, it could do no more and he merely shrugged at her question. Words seemed pointless as he really had nothing useful to offer.

Others came on the heels of the first two. One, rather thankfully, did not demand of him any more answers. Though it seemed the situation for him might be very similar. There was no ignoring the next newcomer. Her voluminous dress and crown spoke royalty far before her words confirmed it. Tynis shied at the authority in her voice. Queen? The surrounding territories knew no queens. The clan leaders all gathered yearly to elect a mutually approved ruler (of sorts) from among themselves. Inherited monarchy had no place in a civilized society.

You’re with us!

The newest voice sent him whipping around to find another, since this was some sort of proper place for the confused to converge. He only found those already mentally accounted for.

Isn’t it exciting?

One of the horses was staring right at him. Was that voice in his head? Something told him it was the horse talking to him. But that really wasn’t a thing he’d ever heard of by any sane person. Perhaps some of the shamans communed with nature in ways most of the population could not comprehend, but it was never considered to be animals speaking inside of one’s mind.

Who are you tell me all about yourself!

There was an unmistakable enthusiasm in the tone and it was definitely coming from that animal. His vision began to narrow, shadows creeping in around the edges as his head spun. “I am Tynis.” He said in a rather automatic way. ‌It was the first question he could answer and he clung to it as his balance shifted. “I think… I think I‌ need to sit down.” With a distinct lack of grace he lowered himself to the ground, placing his head between his knees as he breathed deeply. There was something very, very wrong.

“Am I…” He blurted the next part with no tact. “Are we dead!?”

[Artemis]

Kamalah gasped, as much as a horse-like physiology can produce such a reaction.

I should hope not. I'm not, or I'm pretty sure I'm not? Now I don't know since you questioned it, the mare lamented. She shook out her mane and lashed her tial and tamped her feet lightly on the ground. No, I think I definitely feel alive, as far as I can tell. Are *you* dead? Are you breathing? You breathe, right?

[Muriel]

This was it.

This batch of cookies was sure to please even the pickiest of taste buds. Salmonella be darned, Muriel had dipped a spoon in to taste the batter, and she was convinced of its success the moment the brown sugar and oatmeal mixture graced her tongue. The sweetness serenaded her like a smooth pianist, while the salt kept a steady drumbeat underneath.

But would it impress Jerry? It was understandable for a ten-year-old to shove away a plate of broccoli or cringe at a basket of brussel sprouts, but she was blessed (or cursed, but she liked to think optimistically) with a grandson who was even persnickety about his desserts.

Too much salt. Not enough chocolate chips. That one’s got a lump in it.

It was always something with the little guy, every time, and it was getting to the point where he was starting to make things up. "Grandma," he whined after sampling the last batch, "you didn't put enough convection into this one." She was sure he had meant conviction, but did he even know the meaning of the word? Even so, what was that supposed to mean?

”You gotta try really hard,” was his matter-of-fact reply. ”And believe in yourself.” Big words for such a small kid.

Still, Muriel was determined to please. The old woman smiled cheerfully as she tightened the bracers around her wrists. It might have been unusual for any other granny to be baking with combat guard on, but she just couldn't sit still today, and so was hopping between cookie prep in the monastery's kitchen and light sparring with one of her fellow monks in the courtyard just outside. The monk's name was Xin, and he had a crooked nose.

Her gaze kept darting between her opponent and the tiny hourglass she had set in the window as they exchanged practice kicks. She had never asked about his nose, but she wondered if it may have had something to do with his poor dodging skills.

As soon as the last bit of sand trickled down into the bottom half of the hourglass, she darted back inside, hardly giving herself a moment to catch her breath before popping on a mitt, whisking open the oven, and snatching out the tray.

A perfect golden-brown, all exactly round. Excellent batter to chocolate chip ratio. Just enough salt. An aroma of wholesome sweetness wafted up from the mounded rows. Jerry certainly would like these!

Or he would have, for the next moment -- poof, she had turned around and was in a field with a bunch of complete strangers. By some miracle, all the cookies were still on the tray, though the last row had slid dangerously close to the edge. She attended to them first, balancing them safely back in place, then took stock of her surroundings.

And flipped a somersault. (Mentally, of course, because she didn’t want to lose her baked goods.)

Yes, the tiny grandmother’s mind was doing acrobatics at this spectacular sight. Unicorns! Her heart danced erratically between her frail ribs, and she self-consciously touched the pocket of her robes, where her bucket list was safely tucked away. If she could just convince one of these dazzling equines to try a cookie, she could scratch one item off the wrinkled paper.

"Why would unicorns ever be in need of coins?" she laughed with a merry glint in her eyes. "If you want compensation, I would gladly like to offer one of my chocolate chip oatmeal cookies. Been tinkering with this recipe for nigh on twenty years, but my grandson still isn't happy with it. I think I’ve cracked it this time, though. What do you think?"

She held up the tray, looking equally between the unicorns and the other strange denizens. Somehow the otherworldly appearance of some of them -- the blue skin, the feathers -- didn’t seem to bother her, though the self-proclaimed queen had her raising an eyebrow. If this place was as surprising as Golarion, she’d have quite a story to tell when she returned home!

[Zebey]

Qaiksall? That wasn't a town that Zebey was familiar with. It certainly wasn't anywhere in the World Wound. Then some woman in heels and a rather confining looking skirt approached, some sort of bag in her hand (the metallic smell of blood reached Zebey's nose and she quirked a brow) and asked what was going on. She glanced between her and Tynis- then the unicorns- and realized, they were all confused. This wasn't great. This was probably worse than great. Another figure approached but he hung back and remained silent. Just as the drow was about to return her arrow to her quiver, another woman approached. She held herself in such a way that immediately, Zebey knew she was going to be a handful.

A queen. Great.

Zebey straightened as the arrow was set back in it's quiver. Her bow was placed across her back. There was no need for weapons here, she could tell. The others were just as confused as her, nobody knew where they were. Except... the unicorns? The voices reached her ears- no, her mind- and the drow openly stared at them. She could tell which one was talking although she didn't understand how. She felt a headache come on. That settled it- she had been transported somewhere else completely. This was on a different level of magic. She didn't think a demon had that kind of power. A dark blue hand reached up to rub her temples. Tynis looked particularly distraught, sitting down as the realization must have hit him. He blurted out a question and Zebey glanced at him. This wasn't the first time she'd been thrown in a realm unknown to her. Although, the first time had been from a god- and she had been transported back. She had the feeling she might not be able to go back this time. This seemed... extreme.

The unicorn answered his question, and suddenly, an elderly woman holding cookies was speaking. Did we say headache? We definitely meant migraine. She gazed at the self proclaimed queen and doubted that she would be interested in one of the woman's cookies. They did smell delicious though. Zebey herself was slightly tempted. She glanced at the gathered creatures and realized that they probably had some magical powers of their own, if they could talk using telepathy. She suddenly wished she hadn't put her bow away. "Something tells me we're all going to be here a while," she said, quietly. Then the Slayer straightened her tunic, underneath the armor she always wore. Her silver gaze landed on the unicorns. "Are you lot from here, or are you just as lost as we are?"

[Alice Noe]

Man, the faewild was… well, wild.

Alice understood about half the words the red one said before another fae marched up yelling about being a Queen.

Did the Courts have Queens? She hadn't been to the faewild much. Not enough to know the politics for certain. The horses were also talking, because of course they were. Alice was not paid enough for this.

"Its, ah, business." The woman answered. Drip the blood from the suitcase elaborated. She was suddenly very aware of the smell of it and thankful as fuck that the sun in the faewild didn't burn. Her kind weren't always welcome here. Probably best to keep that on the down-low. There were humans in the faewild, weren't there?

Dead? Asked the man in red, and Alice could only laugh. No she was very much still herself, thank you. That beast hadn't taken her skin, she was quite certain of that. She would have commented further if an old woman hadn't sprung into existence right beside her.

Absolutely Wild.

The elf thought they'd be there awhile, that wouldn't do. "I really need to get this tended to," She held up the briefcase as if to make her point, now with a little line of blood running down the side of it, "Which way back to reality?"

[Haelys Celtaris]

Appalling. That was the best way to describe these people’s reactions to her command. Did they not care that their Queen was in their presence? Impossible. Surely they were desperate for coin, as most people were.

However, Haelys did not have much time to dwell on such disrespectful actions. A voice in her head snapped her attention away. No, wait—two voices. Somehow, she instinctually felt where they were coming from. Her light eyes traveled away from the other humanoids and slowly landed upon two of the damaged horses. Such magic was not possible. This had to be a vision or a dream...unless she was dead. She was pretty certain she wasn’t dead.

Nonetheless, she had no choice but to act unfazed. If she faltered, she would be revealing some weakness within herself. She was in a vulnerable position with how strange this circumstance was, but she could reveal an opening for her enemies to do further harm. She had no way of knowing if she was surrounded by friend or foe. Although, truly, none of these people or creatures seemed to hold obvious malice.

Had she been paying more attention to the conversations surrounding her, she would have noted that some of the other individuals seemed confused. While she typically was more observant, her mind was quite fixated on getting back to the capital to enact her many forms of revenge.

A long breath flowed in through her nose and out through her mouth. Poised. Seemingly calm (she was f*ckn pissed). She began to address the red-horned horse. "I—"

BAM. GRANDMA.

"What?!" Haelys flinched in surprise as an elderly woman appeared shockingly close to her. WHAT THE HELL WAS GOING ON?!

She was silent as the older woman spoke, her blood boiling with frustration about this entire impractical situation. Haelys did not spook easily, but people appearing right next to her while all this adrenaline was pulsing through her warranted a reaction.

Another deep breath. Her gaze was more intense now as her determination to get herself back to her castle grew. She disregarded the wrinkly baker next to her. Cookies were possibly the least important thing at this exact moment.

"I assumed coin would be the desired form of compensation. However, if there is something else you prefer, I am certain we can come to an agreement that suits both of us." She paused, wondering if a common folk had ever questioned her form of compensation before. Everyone wanted money. The idea of somebody trying to bargain with her would usually agitate her, but she was admittedly in a bit of a desperate situation (which thoroughly disgusted her). So, she went along with it.

"My royal council has reaches in any business you desire—fine linens, quality weapons, rare jewels, rich soil, beautiful company..." Was she offering the horse a whore or slave at the end? Yes. Yes she was. She almost added in something about exquisite horse tack, but she knew it would come out of her mouth a bit too smug.

"We can discuss the details of the compensation once I am delivered safely." Her lips were slightly pursed, indicating she was waiting expectantly for assistance. How was this horse (who she was beginning to think was not injured) going to transport her? On its back? Did it own a carriage?

In the back of her mind, she was already planning her next move in case something went awry with this deal. Perhaps the ex-queen white-horned horse had a castle or at least a nice place to stay if she was stuck here for the night. Her calculating eyes lingered on him for a moment.

[Junho Song]

Junho had sort of grown used to being an observer in his lifetime, because sometimes, actions were more dangerous than words. And he did notice that one of the unicorns seemed to shift closer to him, though he knew he couldn't tell exactly why. Body language he could read, to a degree, but he couldn't really say that he was any kind of expert in the body language of a unicorn. And well, he'd never met a unicorn before, but he wasn't really confident there was anything else to decipher besides body language with them. Maybe a whinny? Maybe they could communicate through interpretive dance? Hell if he knew. And he didn't put much thought into it, because he didn't really know what or where he was supposed to distribute his brain power to in his given situation.

Luckily he didn't have to think very hard, because a monarch came barreling in, demanding attention, or heads, rather. Suddenly it felt like too much was happening, faster than he could react. And while he was definitely not qualified to deliver a queen any place, anywhere, the suddenness of voices in his head made him blink, look around. He couldn't detect where the sounds where the voices were coming from because he definitely hadn't heard anything, and he felt goosebumps prickle along the back of his neck, because a voice inside his head usually only came from one place, and now in this thrown chaos, was not the time for that. 

He watched the mohawk guy sit, before asking if they were dead. Well, that was one down on who was talking to him telepathically, and he hadn't really considered the fact that they could be dead. That would make a lot of sense, actually, and he felt a low spiral of thoughts approach him, threaten to engulf him that he had to swallow whole and force away, focus on what he knew before him. 

And one of the voices seemed to fairly confidently refute that theory. He wasn't sure if he was relieved or more confused. He centered himself. This was different. These voices were most definitely in his head, not his entire being, and they sounded different. The relief warmed him like a breath on cold hands.

And then, there was a grandma with a tray of cookies. Chocolate chip oatmeal. At least something here was familiar, in a good way! He was torn between eating something that wasn't foraged leaves and berries since he'd arrived here and staying where he was, besides the quiet unicorn, and ultimately, a weird sort of yeah, we're both quiet! loyalty kept him rooted in place. Which felt a little silly, because he wasn't really sure which voice came from where, while he was trying to catch up to everything, though he did have an idea. He couldn't tell if any contributions to the conversation he made would be useful at this point, did the unicorns know where they were from, what was the way back to reality (he was curious to know this one himself), and he certainly, most definitely was not going to be the one who told a queen no.

"Should I be...doing something?" He said, softly, to the unicorn beside him. He didn't want to make a scene, but maybe he could get some instruction without making a fuss. A sort of lazy smile rested on his lips because honestly, this was all ridiculous, but at least he wasn't afraid.

[Artemis]

Why would Unicorns be in need of coin?! Well, obviously he didn't need it for himself, he needed it because it impresses other creatures. And buys things. It makes you look like one of the people (one of the herd?) if you participate in their economy instead of just appearifying everything for yourself and your chosen circle. Also, ew, what kind of trade-off was cookies? Did the geezer lady want him to be fat? He worked hard to be this fabulous thanks.

Everyone else's blather was unimportant and thus unanswered. Briec had priorities, such as himself, and the words royal council. Also beautiful company, because even unicorns have needs, but he had the diplomacy not to say that out loud (er, so to speak, or think, or whatever).

I can, of course, transport you anywhere you want, but I'm afraid we're not from around here and not familiar with the capital of this kingdom, he humbly apologized. Perchance would you have any form of map, or an item attached to a person I could focus on? I would hate to have you whisked away to the wrong destination.

There was a fair bit of conversation starting to bubble up all around, most of it ranging from politely confused to existential crisis-ly confused, but before any of the Unicorns could say anything else there was a horrified shriek out of the physical mouth of the previously quite cheerful yellow-horned one sniffing the briefcase.

It didn't just smell of blood, which was off-putting but accidents (and chupacabras) happen.

It smelled like wrong blood.

What. Is. That. he demanded, quiet and toneless. The rest of the revelation were looking over, ears pinned back, some looking concerned, some looking annoyed he had to be so dramatic oh my good light couldn't you do anything with some grace Julio.

Being lost implies we were going somewhere else, which we weren't, the blue-horned female snipped at inquiring elf. Asking how to get to reality also implies we somehow aren't real, which I needn't clarify is the stupidest thing I've ever heard, and yet... She snorted. Was everyone they met on this new Planet going to be as gormless as this lot.

ALSO, she sighed with finality, it's called a briefcase. Humans use it for carrying paperwork. And other species, I imagine, although few beings besides humans enjoy occupational documentation enough to tote it around with them.

The Unicorn but Junho startled internally at being addressed, and stared in wide-eyed bewilderment at how quickly things had become loud and potentially upsetting. I don't know, she answered privately with true sincerity. Should they just... go? She wasn't keen on how much attention Julio was drawing to the thing. Do you know any of them? Were all these bipeds random encounters from the universe or an intentional gathering? Paula might not call it being lost but Jin certainly felt lost.

An old stallion shuffled his feet in place before ambling over to the cookie-baker, keeping a glance over on the bloody briefcase girl and his younger companions. Don't know what all the kerfuffle is about, marm, but if you're offering it'd be rude to say no, eh? Can't get any mystery queens to mystery cities, alas, on account of them being mysteries. Did he... just take one from the tray? Let her offer him one? Not that he was going to shove his snout into the platter, mind, he simply wasn't sure if he should levitate one for himself or wait. What were the social norms here. Were there any? Keep it down Julio the adults are trying to talk and he can't think with all your racket.

[Nakolune]

“Husband, you’re watching the kids. There’s a unicorn thing happening.” Nako shut the door even as her husband cried out.

“Nako, don’t leave me! I haven’t got the wifi put together and the only movie we have downloaded is Frozen 2!”

Too bad, so sad. Mommy needs to get out of the house and have some ‘her’ time.

With a bag under her arm she sauntered off, hardly missing a beat when the PIF engulfed her in a giant bubble and spat her out in a large open field. Nako stood up and wiped some dirt and grass off of her fluffy tartan pajama pants and made her way to the multi-colored spectacle that was a bunch of unicorns interacting with a variety of visitors.

They all rather seemed an intriguing mix of personalities and people types. Granny with the cookies was a delightful sight. Who wouldn’t be able to impress a unicorn with cookies? Nako was already impressed and hadn’t even eaten one.

“Yooo!” Nako called out, hoisting a bag of Copic markers over her head. “I have a thing!”

[Haelys Celtaris]

It was relief to hear that these strange horses were not from this area. Haelys was beginning to worry that she wasn’t near home any longer. But it made a lot of sense that the odd individuals she was encountering were simply foreign to her lands. It was too bad she had not stumbled upon the locals, but progress was being made nonetheless.

Something in particular that Briec said captured Haelys' full attention. Her eyes darted to him, latching on intensely. An item he could focus on. They may not hail from the same place (or be the same species), but they certainly seemed to have some key commonalities.

She had to be sure; she felt compelled to know.

Haelys took a step closer to Briec, her gaze still fixed upon him. She didn’t even flinch at Julio’s screech. He could be burning for all she cared. Her energy was entirely focused on her current question.

"You speak of magic?" Her tone held hints of fascination. As she awaited his response, her arms raised up in front of her waist. Her left hand gently wiggled off a silver ring from her right index finger. It was simple in its appearance, smooth metal with no gemstones or anything of the sort. It was pristinely clean—gleaming in the light, no scratches. There was a very subtle pattern inherent to the metal that could only be seen upon close inspection. And yet, despite how plain it appeared, there was something mystical about it. If one could see auras, this ring certainly had one.

"The members of my family wear identical rings. There are no others like them." Pride seeped out of her sentence as she offered the object to him. "If you find them, I will owe you." Debt (even metaphorical) was not something Haelys was comfortable being in, but this could be quickly rectified once she was back home. The horse's proposition had come at a perfect time. Haelys had started considering that she might need to use the red amulet around her neck, which she reserved for emergency situations. It had not yet come to that.

The Queen (of nothing) did not know that she was asking Briec to locate people not of this Planet. She also did not know that her promises of payment were empty, for all her resources were lost along with her world. She owned nothing in this place. And yet, still without this realization, she carried herself as if she owned the universe.

[Muriel]

The queen's obvious displeasure at Muriel's sudden appearance caused the small lady some distress. She hadn't meant to startle the queen -- whether she was truly royalty or not. She shuffled backward to give the poor dear some room. "Oh, goodness me, I am so sorry for scaring you like that, Your Highness," she rasped with bow, holding the tray out to one side. "I cannot say whether my desserts are worthy of your nobility, but you are welcome to a cookie, just the same. Perhaps a little food will help settle your nerves. I always find a bite to eat does the head some good." Her dimples crinkled in a warm, grandmotherly smile. Haelys seemed preoccupied with Briec, so she didn't push the matter further, but added with an empathetic nod after her mentioning of magic and rings, "I do hope you find who you're looking for."

Her eyes flicked to Alice and the dripping briefcase. What a peculiar sight! Alas, she was too far away (and the cookies were too fragrant) to smell the tinge of iron. What's more, her eyes were too feeble and tired to see the consistency of the liquid dribbling out of the lid. "There are better ways to transport jam, dear," Muriel chided good-naturedly. "Especially if it is, as you say, your business. You're losing a lot of product there with that leak. If I figure out a way home, I have some spare canning jars for you."

Suddenly the air was filled with noise -- one of the unicorns in particular seemed absolutely appalled by the briefcase. Heavens, what was so wrong with strawberry preserves?!

Before she could ask anything more, one of the older unicorns made his way over. She blinked as his voice found its way into her head, but relaxed at once after he had said his piece. "Aw, sweetie, you remind me of my first love," she murmured nostalgically. First there was the accent -- it had been so long since she had heard anyone say marm -- but taking cookies from the tray without asking was also very much Sebastian's deal when the two lovebirds were teenagers. There was a reason she didn't talk to him anymore.

Mostly because he was dead.

What?! No, he wasn't murdered or anything! That was nearly 60 years ago, okay? People die. Especially old ones. But not Muriel, not yet.

In all seriousness though, the tiny woman was rather pleased with this turn of events. She had grown fond of her former partner's cookie thefts, and looked on with giddy appreciation as Jenkins floated one of her baked goods to his mouth. "Oh, I agree. Even if we did find out half of all those mysteries, we'd need to fuel up before we go. I'm fine with staying here for now though. Need to rest these old bones. Do you think the others would like cookies, too?" She met his gaze quizzically, as if to say, Do you know the rest of these youngin's? Are they with you?

Then an idea popped into her head, and she was too curious to keep it to herself. "I mean no offense, kind sir, but do you... like scritches? Chin scritches? Ear scritches?" There was an old donkey back at the monastery who melted in her arms after a good ear rub, but this magical creature was no ass. Best to ask permission first before she reached out a hand to pet him.

[Tynis]

The unicorn’s confidence did uplift Tynis for a moment. She really seemed to believe that she was alive. ‌ He took a deep breath. Breathing was on the list of things he generally done. But none of the holy texts had ever addressed whether it was something you continued to do in the afterlife. “Well… I am breathing…” He wasn’t really able to give a real affirmative to the initial question though. Breathing wasn’t enough to assure him he was actually still alive.

Suddenly another appeared and the smell of freshly baked cookies wafted by him. It was certainly an unexpected scent and one that he typically associated with living. And who dies with a fresh tray of cookies without spilling even one? While the event certainly put a small chink of doubt in his theory, Tynis’s mind would not let go. Perhaps living a life surrounded by death had something to do with it. Further conversation between the unicorns certainly didn’t help much either. They didn’t even seem to have a clue where they were so how could they really say? Hmmmm?

Tynis shook his head as the others tried to bargain or puzzle their way out. Death wasn’t something you came back from. He sighed, regaining a small piece of composure. If he was dead, well, he’d have to deal with whatever this afterlife was. If he was not dead, then really there was no point in trying to get back. He wasn’t any sort of wizard after all and if he was at the whim of some deity then it wasn’t going to be within his power anyway.

He stood, still a tad shaky, and brushed off his now crumpled ceremonial robes as Nako burst onto the scene. Finally, someone that seemed to know what was going on in a completely unhelpful manner. He stared at her art supplies and turned to the Unicorn that had been so enthusiastically speaking with him. “A thing? Are we supposed to have a thing?”

[Alice Noe]

Distantly Alice was aware that he was shrieking. Also that she had never heard a horse shriek and it was very strange. Presently, Alice was in pain. Dropping the briefcase to cover her ears as some kind of shielding from that god awful sound.

In the instinctive desire to cover her ears Alice also dropped the briefcase, hitting the ground and popping open as readily as any cheaply made briefcase would. A few of the drier bills fluttered across the grass in a dramatically timed breeze. Alice swore.

"Fucking hell!" She shouted at the money as a few of the floating bills touched the ground and mysteriously became turnips. Deep breathe, exhale through the nose.

"It's money," She said, her polite-secretary-voice taking on a tinge of frustration now, "I'm a bank teller." Her ears still ringing from the screeching meant she had a rather hard time picking up what anyone else was saying.